In Like A Lion…
Posted by: beaner927 on: March 1, 2007
Well, something’s roaring out there – oh yeah….that’s the sound of thunder. Bailey is outside in the pouring rain & she won’t come in! I think she’s still looking for the fox that came by our house yesterday. I have a picture of it on my Flickr page, but it’s a little blurry. I can’t figure out how to add this as a permanent link on my sidebar, so here’s the webpage again if you want to see the fox: http://www.flickr.com/photos/34215371@N00/
I’ve been feeling SADness lately – I could really use some sunshine! I’ve actually been in a pretty good state of mind all winter until our family got hit with all the sickness, then the depression kicked in. It’s not bad, I just feel a little weepy & tired. I’ve been listening to a lot of great Christian music, like Chris Tomlin & Sara Groves, which usually lift my spirits, but yesterday one of the lines from a song just hit me & broke me. I think the only thing I really want to hear when I get to heaven is “Well done.” and I’m afraid I’m not going to hear it. I know, I know. I know all the reasons why I should hear that, but I’m crying as I type this because I’m still filled with regret. I’ve gotten over stuff & moved on, but certain thoughts & feelings creep back into your heart on these dark & cloudy days, you know? We all have doubts. Today, I’m questioning this: If God removes our sin (as far as the East is from the West) then what do we have to stand in judgement for? Will He look at me & say “I see no sin here.” because Jesus’ blood wahsed it clean, or will He still judge me on what I’ve done or failed to do in this life?
OK – now that that’s out of my system, I feel better. I feel like I can pull out of this funk & go on with my day. I don’t want sad thoughts festering in my heart, so now I’ve let them have their say & it’s time to move on! Laundry needs to be done & the dishes are piled up, so I need to go accomplish something & get to feeling better!!!
Besides……..you CAN’T have a rainbow if there isn’t any rain!
4 Responses to "In Like A Lion…"
March 1, 2007 at 3:23 pm
Terri – we have family in North Carolina, so that’d be my first choice, but Alabama is sounding good right about now too!
The sun came out for a little bit today & it’s about 50 degrees – it DID brighten my mood a bit!
March 1, 2007 at 8:11 pm
I agree with TL. Your sin is not worse than those I have committed. I don’t believe God “ranks” sin. Galatians 5:19-21 says “the acts of the sinful nature are obvious; sexual immorality, impurity, and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy;
drunkenness,orgies, and the like…”
Hmmm. There are a few items in that list pointing their finger straight at me.
Guilt and shame can be crippling and I know it is a struggle but you are worth every jewel in the crown you are earning here on earth. And again, you are SO COURAGEOUS.
March 1, 2007 at 9:41 pm
Nashville’s nice, too, you know.
And ditto what Terri said. It is hard to comprehend and truly accept grace. I don’t know why, but it is so natural to want to beat ourselves up over stuff that has already been wiped clean. I think it is harder to forgive ourselves than for God to forgive us.
March 1, 2007 at 1:43 pm
Your sins are no worse than mine which are no worse than anyone else’s. Everyone has sinned and Jesus said that he has taken care of it all so I believe him. I know you do, too. Probably what you need is to move to Alabama!