For a few of you 80’s/90’s kids, you will already know who I’m talking about. For the rest of you, NKOTB stands for the New Kids on the Block. Now besides really liking heavy metal music, I also liked Boy Band Pop music (I have always had eclectic tastes!) Anyway…..in High School, I was absolutely in love with the lead singer, Jordan Knight. I WAS going to marry him. I had ALL of his posters on my wall – infact, NKOTB posters filled up almost 100% of my walls & ceiling. I had buttons, keychains, t-shirts, every cassette tape and every recording of them on TV on video. I had gobs of other merchandise as well. I even went to 3 concerts, 1 by limosine!!!

All this is to say that I had a relationship with Jordan in my mind. I imagined us together. I knew everything about him that I could know – his birthday, favorite foods, brothers & sisters info., where he grew up, even what religion he was. I COULD have been married to him, if it wasn’t for that pesky REALITY getting in my way!!!

You know, sometimes I feel the same way about God. I know a LOT about Him. I’ve read lots of books, I know what He’s done, I talk to Him & imagine Him being with me……but i have a hard time thinking that he’s really in a REAL relationship with me because of those physical limitations: I can’t touch Him and I can’t hear an audible voice. Sometimes He just seems like a fantasy rock star to me.

Then, when I start feeling this way, I start to wonder if He’s sad that I feel this way. I think of Him sitting way up in heaven (yep – there’s that whole distant thing going on) and He’s thinking “What about all those hawks that i’ve sent her? What about all the beauty in the world that makes her smile? What about the sound of thunder that she loves so much? What about all the people who love her unconditionally? When will that be enough for her?”

I don’t know when that will be enough. I WANT it to be enough. I want God to BE REAL to me.

Real to Me – Nicole Nordeman

Every time I try to find you
Every road comes back around
Just another hoop to jump through
Another mile of covered ground

I am weary of the answers
More theory and cliché
They raise the letter of the law like a banner
‘Til you’re small and far away

All the questions in my head
Are from my heart instead

Be real to me now
That’s all I’m asking
Be real to me now

Every scribe and every scholar
No winners in this debate
Everybody seems to stand up taller
When you’re easy to explain

I don’t need to know what I don’t know
Just got to let it go

Be real to me now
That’s all I’m asking
Be real somehow
More than anything
More than anything

So lay down the sword
And put away the doctrine
Love a little more, love a little more
‘Cause everybody’s broken